Why I Left Social Media without saying Goodbye

I’ve just made my debut back on the metaverse after 5 to 6 months of an impromptu sabbatical. I didn’t leave any warning, it was intuitive and I don’t apologize for that. I have missed the tribe though. When you’re out here eating to live, avoiding the bar scene, and overall social circus (of modern day whatever the fuck we call society) to get your mind right…. It can get lonely. Long story short, even though everything looked nice on the surface because of the aesthetics of it all, I was on a mental decline and really needed to get off of the metaverse to recapture my subconscious mind. Too much of my mental real estate was being exhausted on social media due to the demands of my time from the many lovely people on here who are suffering with health issues in some form or fashion. I want to be able to help each and every one of you but unfortunately, my time requires a lot of energy to answer all of the inbox questions, comments on my posts and videos, etc that I was receiving. The more I share, the more demand for my attention there is but there is only one of me. There were also the pressures of my physical reality that weighed heavily on me such as relationship issues, self worth issues, financial, health, social, etc etc… My mind created its own vortex of perceptions that made it hard for me to get out of my head and into my body / material reality. Time was in constant motion while I was in an indefinite state of inertia, overthinking so much that I could barely get to my next move without becoming a full blown mental paraplegic. Living in a stuck state of victim hood, I was my only obstacle and couldn’t get past my own emotional blockages. Isn't it mind-blowing how emotions, which are technically invisible, can manifest in very tangible forms?

Anyway, I was on the brink of a mental meltdown and ended up smoking weed for the first time since 2018. I walked to the corner dispensary near my apartment building to get a pre roll of Sativa (African Orange to be exact), and smoked that shit until the fog started to clear from my head. Right there I realized how overwhelmed and confused I felt about the direction of my life and needed to innerstand why I had such a hard time with decision making and follow through. That is when I decided I needed professional help and wanted to go seek therapy. I’ve now been seeing an in person licensed therapist / mental health counselor since October of 2023. I believe I can humbly admit that therapy has been the most productive thing I've done for myself in a long time. If you have traumas and flawed characteristics you've been sitting on, wanting to shake but can't seem to due to the power of habit, starting there could be beneficial. Therapy has even been more productive than eating living foods, cleansing and detoxification. I only say that because despite how clean I was eating, my mental health improved to some degree, but I was still depressed as fuck and just kind of stuck in that depression. My physical health still suffered because of my mental health. Clean eating has improved my quality of health but I still wasn’t thriving like I knew I was supposed to because my nervous system was also dysregulated from the story I was parroting to myself subconsciously day in and day out. I stressed my cells out due to the constant state of worry, doubt, angst and fear I stayed in. Those lower emotional states always led to eventual episodes of emotionally eating processed junk food, following months of adhering to a high or fully raw whole foods plant-based diet. The raw foods definitely improved my health quality simply through the cleansing aspect. However, if I were always going to subject my body to a detoxification cycle only to reintroduce toxins afterward, I would be ensuring a plateau.

I share all of that to emphasize that I impulsively deactivated Facebook and Instagram to focus more on my mental health, even more than my physical health. Additionally, I began incorporating daily breathing exercises and breathwork meditations. I even invested in a breathwork coach and followed a 30-day program for a month to learn new breathwork techniques, which had a significant impact on regulating my nervous system. Alongside these practices, I've undertaken fruit and herb cleansing, utilized a mucoid plaque ZenCleanse kit, engaged in extensive reading, and experimented with microdosing psilocybin for its neuroplasticity benefits, which I found to be a valuable experience.

To conclude, I am still on my journey of regulating my nervous system and continuing to prioritize both my mental and physical health. I've always considered myself on a spiritual journey because I entered this world as a spirit and will depart as one. My spirit evolves with every step I take in this life. My current intention is to be more present, learning from each action without judgment, recognizing that there are no mistakes or failures, only experiences from which we learn (or don't, until we do). I express gratitude to God for granting me the opportunity to grow daily through my experiences. I also express gratitude to Earth for her plant medicines, particularly cannabis, which can aid in our deeper self-exploration when societal influences cloud our minds. However, I want to clarify that I do not endorse the recreational abuse of plant medicines; they should only be used with intention as tools for enlightenment. Otherwise, they may become forms of escapism and addiction. All plant medicines should be approached with intention and guidance to lead us toward higher understanding. If you are grappling with depression and mental health issues, I urge you to prioritize addressing and resolving these challenges. Mental health care cannot be delegated to pharmaceuticals, drugs, alcohol, sex, or addictive foods; it requires self-examination and cleansing of the mind. Only you can regulate your nervous system by confronting its triggers. You cannot evade yourself indefinitely; eventually, you must confront yourself. Remember, you are not your body or your mind; you are your spirit experiencing both. Transform how you perceive your experiences. While we can alter the body and brain's landscape, your spirit must transcend perceived fears. Connect with your inner self. I hope that by sharing my journey, it inspires you in some way, shape, or form to become intentional about taking control of your mental health and mind.

Tldr: I left social media to focus on my mental health. 

I love you, kbye. 

Author: Lashay Taylor